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If cats had New Year’s resolutions, here’s what they would be

Cats. We can’t live without them. They bring us joy when they hear birds on TV and race towards the flatscreen to “hunt” them. We love snuggling with them once they realize the birds aren’t real. We may secretly wish they’d let us sleep until 7 a.m. instead of yowling to wake us up each morning. Yet, we can’t help but shake our heads, shrug, and mutter, “cats,” before obliging and feeding them.

In other words, we love our cats just the way they are – quirks and all. However, what if your kitty wanted to work on some of their odd-ball behaviors and try to be the best version of themselves? You’d support that, right?

Though your cat probably has no desire to change, it’s fun to think about what tongue-in-cheek New Year’s resolutions they might make. Here are some that would probably top the list.

an orange tabby sitting on a green chair. a woman with a white sweater is looking on.

I will actually pay attention to my owner

It’s possible to train a cat, but let’s be real: They’re not lab puppies. Cats are typically far less eager to please and more of a challenge to train than dogs. Ask them to come over to cuddle, and they may get up and walk into the other room. They may also chirp at birds loudly during your Zoom calls despite your insistence that they pipe down. In an alternative universe, your cat would work on heeding your requests.

I will come out of hiding every once in a while

Cats can be stealthy. Some can find corners of your house you didn’t know existed and hide. Though some cats are social and go in and out of hiding, others stay there. Though we have to accept our kitties for who they are, it’s natural to secretly wish they’d resolve to hang out with you every so often. FYI: If your cat isn’t generally a hider and is suddenly constantly nowhere to be found, it may be a sign they are sick.

I will stop leaving dead birds on the doorstep

Cats kill billions of birds each year, which is part of the reason most vets recommend keeping them indoors. You may have an outdoor-only or indoor-outdoor cat for various reasons, though. If that’s the case, your kitty may leave you some not-so-pleasant surprises. You’ll have to forgive your cat. They’re a hunter by nature. In the wild, cats teach their kittens to eat by bringing home prey. Your cat is trying to do the same for you. Perhaps this year, your cat could come to terms with the fact that you provide them – and yourself – with all the food they need and come home without bearing gifts.

I will try to be nicer when getting my nails trimmed

A manicure may be a small luxury to you, but cats don’t feel the same way. Your cat’s nails once protected them in the wild, so felines like to keep them sharp. They may also not enjoy being held. It’s important to trim those claws, though, even if your kitty hisses and squirms. It would be nice if they didn’t turn this tiny must-do into a production. You can help them achieve this resolution by finding the right nail clippers.

a cat sitting on a bed

I will let my parents sleep past 7 a.m.

Cats are nocturnal. Humans usually aren’t. If you work a regular shift, your cat’s nightly antics, or at 4:30 a.m., may serve as an unwelcome alarm clock. Help your feline nail this New Year’s resolution by tiring them out during the day and ensuring they have enough food in their dish to get them through the night.

Cats will be cats

Cats are quirky creatures, which is part of the reason we love them. They’re not here to build our egos, and we’re often not surprised if they forego a snuggle session to hide under the bed. Of course, your kitty may have a habit of actually wanting to hang out – before the sun comes up. Though we love our fur babies just the way they are, ’tis the season to start making resolutions. If your cat had any desire to change, they might resolve to pay attention to you more, sleep through the night, and hiss less during nail trimmings. Your cat probably thinks they’re perfect just the way they are, though, so don’t expect big changes this year. Jokes aside, would you really have it any other way?

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